just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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