You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
