Dual....:-)
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
