this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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