Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
