I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
