'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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