There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
