Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
