what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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