But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So many bounce houses so little time
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
