Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
