Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
