sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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