Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
