i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
