I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
