dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
