Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
