matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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