someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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