We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
