guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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