Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
