Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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