Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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