fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
