it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
