He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
