white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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