the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
