Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
