YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
