i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
