I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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