"it" just moved
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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