I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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