I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize