my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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