My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
handjob tips. give me some.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
