Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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