And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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