she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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