Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
