hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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