Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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