doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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