I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
