Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
