have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
